40,000 reasons ... and counting

Why blog if blogging takes time and life is so full as it is?

It's simple, really. I have two reasons.

1. Life is too rich to keep it to myself (and writing usually helps me see just how rich it is).

2. YOU. Here you are, reading what I wrote, even though I'm sure you have plenty of other things to do.

Whenever I have my doubts about whether blogging is worth my time, I check the "pageviews" in the bottom right of the blog. That always inspires me to keep writing. Today I crested 40,000 pageviews. Even if 10% of those are me (a high estimate), and 50% are some spam search engine somewhere, that's still an awful lot of reasons to keep blogging.

Whether you've been tracking with me all 4 years or popped by today for the first time, you've given me an awful lot of reasons to keep writing. Thanks for joining me on the journey!

worth sharing

A friend from seminary posted this earlier today, and I couldn't help but notice how we're on the same wavelength. If life is not all tinsel and lights for you this Christmas, do take a minute to read her post -- What I really want for Christmas. I hope you'll be as challenged and encouraged as I was.

Here's a gem: "Maybe the absence of hurt is not what we really need. Maybe the presence of God in our hurt is the best gift we could receive this Christmas."

Amen to that.

Thanks, Lindsay!

naming the gifts

God has gifts to give us that can only come wrapped in suffering.

We would rather not receive them. We’d rather mark them “return to sender” and move on with things as they are. But we don’t get to choose our gifts. The Wise Gift Giver chooses for us. At first it looks like a mistake, or at least a white elephant. This? For me? Never! It must be some kind of joke. This doesn’t belong in my life! But in fact God sees far ahead, and he knows just what we’ll need to make it through the seasons to come. So he starts working well ahead of time to get us ready.

I don’t mean to say that God is the author of suffering. He’s not. But he treasures the opportunity that suffering affords to meet us in a special way and to refine us.

As I look back over my life these ugly gifts are some of the most vivid, and (in time) most precious.

The gift wrapped in rejection was confidence in who I am in Christ.

The gift wrapped in the blackness of sin was a profound appreciation for God’s holiness.

The gifts wrapped in poverty were dependence on God and resourcefulness.

The gifts wrapped in illness were dependence on others and sensitivity.

The gift wrapped in the ache of homesickness and culture shock was a thirst for more of God.

2013 has been a year rich in gifts—

The gift wrapped in pressure is productivity.

The gift wrapped in spiritual conflict is heightened discernment.

The gift wrapped in mismanagement is wisdom (for next time).

The gifts wrapped in waiting are perseverance and trust.

The gift wrapped in failure is grace for others and myself.

The gift wrapped in confrontation is humility and grace.

The gift wrapped in injustice is identification with Christ.

The gift wrapped in isolation is the sweetness of His presence.

The gift wrapped in correction is growth.

The gift wrapped in suffering is empathy.

The gift wrapped in layer after layer of disappointment is a well-worn path of prayer to the throne (a path that gets easier and easier to find).

These are gifts I wouldn’t wish on anybody. They are miserable to receive. On the other hand, once we receive them with thanks we become stronger, richer, deeper, and softer. At some point we see ourselves in the mirror and realize that we are not who we once were. These gifts we didn’t want have transformed us. Most importantly, we are profoundly aware that we cannot do life on our own. We need Him. Desperately. And that’s the best place to be.

What gifts has God given you this year?

[note: If you clicked on any of the links in this post, you probably noticed that God started preparing me for 2013 a long time ago. As hard as it was, 2004 cleared out the underbrush so that I could find a path to God through suffering—a path I have trod repeatedly this year. He is a good God, and His gifts are unmatched.]

full of thanks

I've said before that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Along with millions of Americans, I'm counting my blessings today. Right at the very top of my list this year is a man who has invested the past 43 years of his life ministering to students like me. As we gather around his table to give thanks my heart will be full to bursting. You can be sure of that.

I arrived in Baltimore last week Wednesday for 6 days of annual meetings for the various academic societies of which I am a member -- ETS, IBR, and SBL. I presented papers at each conference, reunited with friends, interacted with scholars from around the world, and stayed up late talking with roommates night after night. But the highlight was undoubtedly the ETS session on Thursday afternoon. A world class cadre of scholars gathered in the Baltimore Convention Center for a session entitled “Deuteronomy as Good News: A Conversation with Daniel I. Block.” The event was billed as a response to Dr. Block’s work on Deuteronomy following the publication of his NIV Application Commentary and two spin-off volumes of essays on the book. It was that, but it was also the unveiling of a surprise Festschrift in his honor. In commemoration of his 70th birthday earlier this year, Dr. Block’s friends, colleagues, and former doctoral students contributed 597 pages of essays relating to the message of Deuteronomy, published by Eisenbrauns. In the academic world, a Festschrift is probably the highest honor one can receive. It's a symbolic induction into the scholarly hall of fame, the Oscar award of academia, the proverbial "well done, thou good and faithful servant."  

For Our Good Always: Studies on the Message and Influence of Deuteronomy in Honor of Daniel I. Block is a treasure-trove of reflections on the biblical book that has become Dr. Block’s favorite. The entire work is edited by three of his former doctoral students, a labor of love for their mentor (Jason DeRouchie, Jason Gile, and Kenneth Turner). A Festschrift doesn't make anybody rich (least of all the publisher), but it celebrates the riches of a lifetime of scholarship and teaching ministry.

By the time I arrived at Wheaton in the fall of 2011, the Festschrift was already planned and the essays were in production. However, I was in the right place at the right time to help with reconnaissance and arrange for a celebration dinner with all the contributors. At the dinner I had the privilege of listening to tribute after tribute to Dr. Block's scholarship and character. I count myself among those whose lives have been forever changed because of this man. He has shaped my writing and thinking, trained and modeled faithful study and teaching, and most of all, he has opened his heart wide and welcomed me in as his own daughter.

It's not difficult to figure out why Dr. Block's students love him so much. His enthusiasm for God's Word is contagious, his scholarly output formidable, and his love for his students knows no bounds. Outside the classroom, he and Ellen have walked with students time and again through unspeakable pain and exhilarating joy, and those ups and downs have forged an unbreakable bond. I'm profoundly grateful that God saw fit to weave our stories together, and that this year we can join hands around the table and give thanks together.

lessons from the school of hard knocks

When life's journey takes you into the desert, it can seem like "real life" is on hold, waiting for problems to be resolved, waiting for questions to be answered, waiting for momentum to return. But desert seasons are where some of God's most important work gets done—inside us. This morning I read reflection #171 from Charles Ringma's profound devotional, Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen. Time after time, this book has spoken life to my soul. Today I simply must share the whole reflection with you, because it captures so well the idea that the desert is God's classroom:

   "Much of life is spent preparing for and gaining knowledge for future roles and tasks. And many of our educational strategies are based on the premise of learning first in order that we may do later. For some, this has resulted in much learning but little doing. For others, it has meant quite a deal of unlearning once they have experienced the real world."
   "Yet it should be obvious that many things are learned by doing. One learns to pray by praying, to serve by serving, and to love by loving...."
   "Nouwen hints at this. He writes, 'The great illusion of leadership is to think that a person can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.' No only can we not look to spiritual guides who lack life's difficult experiences or who have failed to make sense of them or acknowledge them, but we also need to walk our own desert experiences and learn from them."
   "Because spirituality does not embrace only an aspect of life, but all of it, all of life's experiences become the testing ground for linking faith and practice. Thus, in being, living, doing, praying, serving, risking, loving, and participating, we are weaving a pattern for understanding our spirituality."

The school of hard knocks may not be your choice of a classroom. It's not mine, either. But the lessons we learn in the desert classroom cannot be gained anywhere else.

Show me your ways, LORD; Teach me your paths. Psalm 25:4

silver linings

Some seasons of life we'd rather not endure. Heavy black clouds dampen everything and choke out joy. We long to turn the corner, to pack up and move on. But there are graces even on the darkest day, graces we cannot see in the sunshine. If we have the courage to stare into the blackness with our eyes wide open, looking for Him, we'll discover untold riches.

When trials are more than we can bear alone, we discover that we are not alone. Hugs are longer. Prayers are deeper. And the Scriptures come alive in fresh ways. We realize anew that He knows what we're going through, and He made provision for us long before we entered this valley. What's more, our eyes are opened to the sufferings of others. We recognize the burdens they carry, because we've carried them, too.

When things look bleak, we discover the power of gratitude. Each hour not saturated in trouble becomes a gift. Each good night's sleep a blessing. Each friend who knows and cares a boon to the soul. Each part of life not touched by trouble carries a new sparkle that we once missed. When our appetite returns and our stomach behaves normally, we receive it with thanks.

When perspective is hard to gain and harder to keep, we discover the urgency of spiritual disciplines. We no longer read the Scriptures because we should, but because we must just to make it through the day.  Confession and forgiveness have immediate bearing on our ability to cope. It no longer seems like a stretch to pray without ceasing.

Spiritual hunger is one of the gifts God grants us when life is hard. So are gratitude and deeper community.
Though I don't suggest that we wish for suffering, when it comes (and it will) we can open our arms to receive what God has to give us in that season. The black clouds of suffering always come with the silver linings of his grace. We can't necessarily discern it right away, but if we keep staring, we'll learn to see what's there.

Dr. Daniel Block: the gospel according to Deuteronomy

Dr. Block's love for Deuteronomy is legendary on Wheaton's campus. He can find a way to bring Deuteronomy into just about every conversation, every lecture, and every dissertation defense. He's convinced that he could show you gospel on any page of the book. (Speaking of pages, you should see the pages of Deuteronomy in his Bible . . . they're falling to pieces!) That's what prompted him to title his recent collection of essays on Deuteronomy The Gospel according to Moses. And his gospel-saturated vision is contagious. It inspired Clayton Keenon to plan a whole grad chapel series devoted to this topic. So it should come as no surprise that Dr. Block was asked to give the final message in the series, highlighting gospel in his favorite book of the Bible—Deuteronomy.

As you probably know by now, Dr. Block is my dissertation advisor and beloved mentor. This message will give you a great taste of my Wheaton experience!

Here are links to the whole series:

Dr. John Walton - Genesis
Dr. Philip Ryken - Exodus
Clayton Keenon - Leviticus
Carmen Imes - Numbers
Dr. Daniel Block - Deuteronomy