quilted hearts: mentoring for the long haul

Dear Hazel,

I wasn't ready yet for you to go.
In your own unassuming way, you "held the ropes" for us.

It's not just that I loved you. You loved me back, too.

I bumbled into your sewing circle in the church basement, a young mom full of zeal. Mentoring was what I wanted most, advice for how to raise children, how to make my way in the world. Since I was 40 years younger than the next youngest member of the group, I thought it an ideal place to learn. I prodded, asking questions, seeking wisdom. The women hunched over the quilt looked at each other and shrugged. I think you answered first, Hazel. You said something like "Don't ask us! We're no experts!"

It bothered me then, your reticence to pass along what you had learned. I didn't realize that your answer really was an answer, the answer I needed most—that all of us muddle through the best we can and figure things out as we go, and that what we discover along the way is that there's no single right way of doing things, and no guarantees that what worked for you will work for me.

When I was silent long enough, swallowing my questions and slowing my pace, the conversation drifted back to its natural cadences—TV shows and recipes, small town news and medical reports and silences. These conversations held no instant magic, but I see now that each was another quilting thread, connecting hearts as thread joins layers of fabric stitch after stitch.

Hazel (center), the last time I saw her (photo: C Imes)

Now that you're gone, the fabric is torn and so is my heart.

Quilting is slow work, and so are relationships. Your faithfulness over the long haul created something beautiful. We could always count on you to keep the conversation moving. Although you stopped short of giving advice, you gave me something even more important—you genuinely cared about me and my journey. I know because your face would light up when I entered the room. This, too, was a kind of mentoring.

You were there when Eliana cruised around underneath the quilt frame, her bald head a traveling bump. You were there when we sold our things and said our farewells, headed to the Philippines. You were there when we returned, broken and bleeding. You said farewell again when we moved across the country. And you were always there when we came home and I showed up unannounced at sewing. Every time the group was smaller, as friends went on ahead -- Elizabeth, Vesta, Edna, Ruth, Bertha, Alice -- but I could count on you to be there.

How I wish your chair didn't stand empty now! I'm afraid if I take my place around the quilt again my tears will make a mess of it. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until it was too late to tell you.

I'd like to know how many quilts you stitched, how many dollars they fetched for the cause of world mission, how many lives were changed as a result. As meticulous as they are, the minutes of the Women's Missionary Society won't be able to tell me that. But I know that your faithful giving and serving has brought light and life to many others around the world, including mine.

So Thank You, Hazel.
You'll be sorely missed.

a lot of hops

It was Easton's idea. 

We had about an hour before the kids' bedtime and wanted to go outside.

"Let's make a hopscotch of the books of the Bible!"

We grabbed the sidewalk chalk and headed into the quiet street to get started.

"We could just do the Old Testament," he suggested. "How many books is that?"

"39," I reported.

"And how many in the New Testament?"

"27." [This has nothing to do with a PhD in Biblical Theology. What you memorize as a child sticks!]

"And how many is that all together?"

"66."

"Wow," he said. "That's a lot of hopping."

No kidding.

We drew and drew, using just the first letter of each book, and then hopped and hopped, trying to hop to the rhythm of the books-of-the-Bible songs we know (which is not easy—you try it!). Then we tried silly hops, jazzy hops, backward hops, dribbling hops, jump-roping hops, and any other way we could think of to traverse our longest hopscotch yet.

When we fell into bed, we were all hopped out, but all practiced up on the books of the Bible, which is a very handy thing to know.

Thanks, Easton.

bored by Leviticus or lost in Numbers? don't miss this

I've already mentioned this resource last year, but it's getting better all the time as more videos are released, and I'm guessing that some of you blew me off the first time, so I'm going to say it again, LOUDER.

This is quite simply the BEST COLLECTION OF BIBLE VIDEOS I have ever seen. The content is solid. The graphics are impressive. The cost is affordable (It's FREE!). In just minutes you'll begin to understand how the books of the Bible fit together, and how each one contributes to the Bible's overall message.

There's a reason why over 42,000 people have already subscribed to these videos on YouTube (Genesis is nearing 200,000 views).

There's a reason why I used class time to show these videos to seminary students earlier this year.

And there's a reason why all three of my kids were captivated this afternoon watching them. After watching Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Hebrews, Eliana (age 14) announced that she was going to head to her room and watch them all again. Emma (age 10) said, "That was amazing!" And Easton (age 7) declared that he wanted to send some of his own money to help fund more videos.

They're that good.

Think the Bible is boring? or confusing? Or do you love it and want a way to share that love with others? Look no further! Watch it come to life at www.jointhebibleproject.com or get started right here:

Is the video you want to see not available yet? Keep checking back. The team is upping production speed so that all the biblical book videos will be out as soon as next year!

fractions before breakfast

Easton stood there in my bathroom, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and shivering in the morning cold. "Mom, I had a question for you yesterday, but I didn't get a chance to ask you yet."

"Ok, what is it?" My interest was piqued. This must be important if he was still thinking about it before he was fully awake!

"What's a fraction?"

I couldn't hide my smile. Where does one find a child like this? Christmas morning he bounded down the stairs, workbook in hand, announcing that he was going to do some math before breakfast. In under a minute I explained how to add double-digit numbers with carrying. He had it down cold. This morning it was fractions. I told him that if he got ready for school quickly, we'd have time to get out a fractions game I had tucked away in the closet. He was jazzed and got ready at lightning speed.

Again, it took under a minute to explain what fractions represented and how to read them. He was off like a rocket, categorizing fraction cards and even learning how to reduce fractions.

Last night in bed he was completely absorbed in a career exploration guide from Portland General Electric, discovering which kinds of jobs in the energy sector would be just right for him. Did I mention he's 6?

While it may only take a fraction of a minute to teach him something, he has my WHOLE heart wrapped around his pinky finger. No question about that.

"all grown up"

This was a big week at our house. And I mean BIG.

I taught a FULL week of classes at Multnomah University and Western Seminary, subbing 14 hours for one of my mentors while he was out of the country and beginning my own class on the Gospels and Acts. I taught Exodus, Leviticus, New Testament Biblical Theology, Hermeneutics (for Heb-Rev), Bible Study Methods, and Gospels.

One of the best parts of teaching this week was sharing the experience with Eliana (age 13). In November, I paid her a dollar to read through my syllabus and look for typos. She thought the class sounded so cool that she wanted to sit in on it, too. Since she's doing high school online through a public charter school, she has a flexible enough schedule for that to work. I'm delighted to have her rubbing shoulders with such a great group of students and experiencing the campus that was so formative for me and Danny.

One morning I came down to breakfast dressed for teaching. Eliana did a double-take and said, "Mom, you look all grown up today!" Um . . . as opposed to . . . yesterday? (when she said I looked very "professional") This is the same daughter who told me recently that I really need to look into getting a refund for the wrinkle cream I'm using. Gotta love having a teenager in the house!

As if having a high schooler was not enough to make me feel old, our "baby" had his last day of first grade yesterday. Easton's teachers and principal decided that he should move up to second grade. Effective immediately. Which means that this fall I'll have a 3rd grader, a 5th grader, and a 10th grader. In three years we'll be sending our oldest off to college and in 10 we'll be empty nesting. Where has the time gone? Before you know they'll all be grown up!

culinary adventures

Easton helping with homemade cinnamon rolls. Yum!

If it's true that "you are what you eat," then our family has been getting a total makeover this summer! We've been trying to eat healthy for a long time now, but our move to Oregon has given us the time and space to take things to the next level. Perhaps all the upheaval of moving (again!) is balanced out by measurable changes in our diet. I've discovered a couple of phenomenal blogs that have given me the courage to embark on culinary adventures. So, if you're wondering where I am these days ... think KITCHEN and Farmer's Market. Yes, it's absorbed a lot of my time, but we're busy learning new skills and developing new habits that will get easier with practice. The kids have been totally intrigued with the process and totally on board with trying new foods (well, mostly :)).

Here's a list of 10 changes we've made. The first 5 have been part of our routine for a couple years or more. You may remember my blog posts from Wheaton about brain food - here and here - and about once-a-month baking. The next 5 changes are new for us this summer, prompted by close proximity to Bob's Red Mill and a great Farmer's Market and a "chance" encounter with a couple of great blogs: www.100daysofrealfood.com and www.kitchenstewardship.com. Before I say more, a quick word about why I bother blogging about this when I'm not a nutrition expert and this is not a food blog. I'm convinced that we are called to honor God with our whole selves, mind and body. What we eat affects our worship and our testimony. It's also a matter of stewardship -- of our time, money, our body, and this planet's resources. This post is designed to inspire you to take the next step toward healthy eating, whatever that means for you. Eating real food is possible, even on a budget or a tight schedule. Where there's a will, there's a way, one step at a time.

 1. Avoiding artificial colors, flavors, hydrogenated oils, and sweeteners
 2. Limiting sugar (we're now switching to natural cane sugar, honey, and pure maple syrup)
 3. Eating whole grains whenever possible
 4. Baking our own bread
 5. Making our own baked goods

 6. Grinding our own grain
 7. Buying fresh and local produce
 8. Switching to olive and coconut oil
 9. Experimenting with green smoothies
10. "Stock"ing up on the basics

I have many other aspirations - making our own yogurt, cutting out chemically-laden cleaning supplies, growing a garden, and maybe even canning - but these things take time. We can only do so much in a day (usually less), so we'll just try to keep moving in healthier directions. So far it's been a fun and delicious adventure!

dearly beloved

Whether playing games or working on my dissertation,
Ana and I make a great team!

Christmas break afforded lots of extra time with the kids. Thanks to -40 degree windchill we had a few extra days to snuggle and play together. I sure love these dear little people! Highlights from the past few weeks include gifts, games, and a marriage proposal ...

Eliana (12) took on an extra project last week: skimming my dissertation and highlighting all the abbreviations so that I could type up a complete list. She's getting taller by the day (already up to my nose!) and delights in spending time with her parents. She enjoyed all the extra game time with me this break. Our new favorite is Ticket to Ride, but Backgammon is a close second. She played 'Hand and Foot' (a card game) along with all the grown-ups this year, and looked very grown-up herself in her new Christmas dress from Grandma.

Emma reading to her cousin, Charlotte

Emma (8) has been full of holiday sparkle. She comes alive giving gifts, and the holidays give her the perfect opportunity to bless those she loves. She is so good with little ones—she bonded instantly with her Colorado cousins, Charlotte (3) and Kate (2). It was sweet to watch her reading to them, playing with them, and caring for them. She's also become quite the game player—I keep losing these days!

Easton (5) is extremely loquacious these days and lots of fun. One day he told us that the world inside his head is called "Discoveration!" I couldn't have thought of a better word myself. When Easton's not discovering something new he's making up something truly incredible. This morning he was busy caring for 77 invisible dogs and one new puppy!

Danny, waking Easton up one morning: "Hey bud, you said you would wake up on your own this morning."
Easton, sleepily: "Yah, but my dream unsmarted me."

Easton has already spent countless hours
inventing things with the Construx set
he got for Christmas.  Thanks, Uncle John!

Easton: "Mom, can you imagine when I turn 18?"
Me: "Yes, buddy. I can picture dropping you off at the dorm so you can start your degree in Engineering."
Easton, after a few moments of concentrated thought: "Mom, can I skip dissertation?"
You should have seen him dance for joy when I told him that most people never have to write a dissertation!

After playing with a friend on New Year's Eve, Easton informed me, "Mom, when we're 18, Abigail and I are going to move in together."
"Ummm.... you're not going to get married first?"
"No, because I don't like kisses."
The next morning, he announced matter-of-factly, "Mom, I changed my mind. I want to marry Abigail. She's adorable, and I'm in love with her."
Later he composed a letter to her. Emma wrote it down for him (and probably influenced the content considerably, but it does capture his heart):

Dear Abby,
I love you and I want to marry you! It would be so fun to have kids! But I might not be able to marry you because God has plans for me. Thank you for being my friend. Let's be best friends forever! :)
Love your best, best friend, 
Easton

He was delighted when Abigail did not rebuff his proposal. She wants to get married, too. It will be exciting to see what God has in store for these kiddos!

rite of passage

A lot of big stuff happened at our house this week.

Easton (age 5) learned to skip.

Eliana (age 12) got a part in the school play.

Both girls started piano lessons for the first time (not counting lessons at home with us).

And Emma (age 8) made a very big decision. She was running away. Things just weren't going her way. To be honest, I can't even remember what set her off. Generally it's the really grievous things like when someone smiles at her and tells her she looks pretty, or when I refuse to help her with a really challenging homework assignment (such as basic addition) because I'm busy reading to Easton. Enough is enough, really.

She demanded a suitcase. I calmly suggested that if she was running away she would need to learn to fend for herself. She stomped off and found one without my help and started packing. The only problem was that we were headed out to eat for dinner to celebrate her 8th birthday. She certainly didn't want to miss that, so she informed us all that she would be leaving in the middle of the night . . . after her special dinner.

As I tucked her in that evening, I let her know that I would really miss her, and that I hoped she packed a toothbrush (she hadn't). She burst into tears, gave me a big hug, and said she didn't want to run away from home after all. (Phew!) We had a good talk about asking God to help us manage our anger, and she went to sleep peacefully. In case you're having deja vu, yes, this has happened before in the Imes household. That story, too, had a happy ending. Running away must be an 8-year-old rite of passage.

A few days later we were getting the house ready for dinner guests when I noticed Emma's suitcase, still packed and ready in the corner. I suggested we unpack it since she had decided to stay. Imagine my delight to discover that not only had she packed a jacket and a pair of pajamas, she had packed her Bible as well. I might be a horrible Mom sometimes, hard to live with and terribly unfair, but I must be doing something right! In any case, it was a good sign. If that's all she takes with her when she leaves home, she'll be well prepared for anything that comes her way.

this summer by the numbers

I realize the irony of writing this post after the last one, but rest assured that none of these numbers define who I am. They just give you a picture of what I've been up to this summer!

0 - landlords on the planet who are better than ours
1 - core dissertation chapter left to write

2 - new cousins our kids gained this summer (wahoo!)
3 - VBS programs our kids participated in this year

4 - total number of core chapters in my dissertation

5 - years since Easton was born
5 - live paintings I did on stage during VBS

6 - hour drive to Honey Rock to pick up Eliana

10 - days Emma and Easton had swimming lessons

12 - total days Eliana will spend at Honey Rock

15 - years Danny and I have been married
16 - years old our oldest neice is - old enough to come visit us!

17 - days' notice we had before Danny's brother got married

18 - days until school starts
27 - number of camp scholarships raised by VBS kids

32 - books left on my comprehensive reading list

36 - years since I was born (as of today)

43 - days until my next chapter is due

45 - weeks until our lease is up in Wheaton

48 - months this blog has been running
91 - pages in my latest dissertation chapter
125 - kids in our church's VBS program

188 - books I have finished on my comps list
189 - approximate gallons of latex seal coating Danny applied to driveways with our landlord

207 - days until my defense draft is due
235 - total pages I have written so far

273 - pictures I took at Danny's brother's wedding
280 - days until graduation
315 - total number of blog posts I have published
1,349 - dollars the kids brought during VBS to help fund camp scholarships through Sports Friends

2,589 - pages left to read carefully for comps

15,232 - total pages to read carefully for comps

26,171 - words in the chapter I turned in yesterday
34,182 - pageviews on my blog to date

73,080 - words I have written for my dissertation

100,000 - dissertation words I am allowed to write

limitless - grace of God that has carried us through another season!

five . . . and loving him all the way

Our baby is 5 today. Incredible.

Easton's first ride on the tag-a-long bike with Dad!

It's hard to imagine a more delightful kid than Easton. He's so utterly adorable, so funny and eager to learn. He's a joy to parent and so full of love.

He's been thinking long and hard about what he wants for his birthday. After much consideration, he settled on a BIG HUG. :) We've been practicing all week so we can get it right.

A friend of mine from seminary is embarking on a journey as a foster parent. She blogged this week about the challenges of learning to love and let go. Her words are priceless. And she reminded me that none of us know how many days we'll have with our children. They are on loan to us from God. We have to chose between holding back
and loving them "all the way," no matter what the future holds.

One of Emma's classmates underwent a 3-hour surgery on her skull yesterday afternoon. On Tuesday the girls were playing softball together. No issues. Today Addy is hospitalized and recovering from major surgery. We just never know what will come our way. We just have to love them while we can.

Easton started out in a sleeping bag on the floor,
but this is where he ended up.

As I wrote this last night Easton was upstairs, giggling with Emma in her room, where he had a "sleepover." I don't think they talked long. The last thing I heard was ...

Easton: I need my "birthday sleep"!
Emma: I need my "beauty sleep." Goodnight, birthday boy!
Easton: Goodnight, beauty girl!




Happy Birthday, Easton! I'm so thankful I get to be your mom!

goodbye, preschool!

Easton's Last Day of Preschool,
posing with Mrs. Cline and Mrs. Binkerd

In honor of Easton's last week of preschool, my Mom came up with a new tagline.

It used to read

reflections from Seminary Avenue (on anything from preschool to PhD)

Before that it was

reflections from Seminary Avenue (on anything from diapers to dissertation)

Now you can see it says

reflections from Seminary Avenue (on anything from ABC's to ABD)

No more diapers.

No more thumb-sucking.

No more bibs.

No more sippy cups.

No more training wheels.

No more stroller.

No more preschool.

Our little man is really growing up!

ABC's are a big part of Easton's world right now. When he first started learning to read he would climb down from his bunk bed in the morning, book in hand, eyes barely open, and ask if he could read to us. The book traveled with him all day long. He was obsessed.

Now he's back to drawing and playing and listening to music -- but he still loves to read. He's eager to learn about the world around him, and he's full of questions.

"Mom, why is the 'g' silent in this word?"

"Mom, why does every kid come with a grown up?" (He later decided that kids need grown-ups to remind them to do their chores before dinner and to make sure they don't fight with their sisters. I'm glad we're good for something!)

"Mom, why did God make bugs?"

"Mom, are you almost done with your dissertation?" (He's not impatient, just wondering.)

Tonight at dinner he prayed, "Dear God, please help Emma's knee to feel better. Please help Ana to have fun at Gwyn's house. And please help Mom as she writes her dissertation."

There may be a big gap between learning ABC's and being ABD, but at our house the two go hand in hand.

just one year

my second chapter in progress

They say the first year goes by quickly, and that it should be cherished. (By this I'm pretty sure Carter's means that you should go ahead and buy lots of darling outfits for your baby, because they'll only be that little for a short time—a clever marketing gimmick!) It's true. Time flies.

But I hope this year does not. Danny informed me yesterday that I have exactly one year before my dissertation defense draft is due (click here if you need a refresher on what that is). I'm shooting for a defense date of April 11, 2014. That means it's time to buckle up and buckle down!

my second chapter ... finally done!

A Wheaton dissertation must be no more than 100,000 words (roughly 300 pages). I've written over 40,000 words so far (about 130 pages). Last week I turned in my second of four main chapters. Today I'm revising my first chapter. Next week I'll dive into my third.

I'm still taking one PhD Seminar and studying Ugaritic, but in two months I'll be ABD, with nothing standing between me and the deadline. Eliana (11), who doesn't miss a trick, has begun telling her friends they can call me Dr. Imes.

Easton celebrates progress!

Meanwhile, I'm chipping away at my comprehensive reading list, and the kids are cheering me on every step of the way. After I turned in my second chapter, Danny and the kids picked me up from the library and whisked me away to Olive Garden to celebrate. I had barely opened the van door when Easton (4) asked cheerfully, "Mom, are you done with your PhD?"

Not yet, buddy. But I'm getting closer!

snapshots of Easton

I just LOVE four. Easton is a lot of fun to have around. Here are some recent "snapshots" of Easton being his adorable self.

A wide-eyed-with-excitement Easton: "Dad says that when I grow up and move out of the house I can have any pet I want!" (Kudos to my wise husband who should write a book on parenting!)

An eager Easton: "Mom, do you want to know how I spell guitar? K-E-A-R-E-L-K." (Yes, we worked on "G" sounds after that!)

A wondering Easton: "Mom, why was I born last?"

A hopeful Easton: "Is it my birthday tomorrow?"

An adorable Easton, trying to get through a crowded doorway: "Open Sesame Street!"

A melodious Easton (at the top of his lungs, with voice cracking): "Bless the LORD, O my soul, O my soul..."

An ears-perked-up Easton: "California? That's my favorite place in the whole world!" (I'm not sure how he knows, since he's never been there, but it must at least be his favorite place to say.)

A silly Easton: "My new train's name is 'Slippy Bippy'."

An elusive Easton: "My name's not Easton. I'm Toby." (or Jack, or David, or Scar-face, or Crush, or ...)

An affectionate Easton: "Mom, I love you." (Lucky for me, this is what he says whenever he gets my attention and then can't remember what he was going to say.)

2012 Family Video

copyright Lifetouch (used by permission)

My talented husband put together a 6-1/2 minute video of our family's adventures in 2012. If you'd like to watch it, click here. Special highlights include Easton's recitation of Hebrews 4:12 from memory, his impersonation of a Thanksgiving turkey, and his enthusiastic narration.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday. Thanks for coming along for the ride in 2012!

our budding artist

Easton (age 4) has only two things on his mind these days: trains and drawing (usually both).

He's going through a drawing explosion, spending hours at a time carefully drawing, coloring, cutting, and sharing his artwork.

When he's not drawing, he's typically talking about the remote control train he's hoping to get for his birthday (in June!).

This is an angry crane cleaning up the mess made by a truck
who spilled logs all over the road. The truck is sad, as you
can see, and a sign has been posted saying "Keep Out!"

This one is a train with a coal car, a boxcar, and a caboose. The sun is
shining and the wind is blowing. As you can see, the boxcar is full of all
kinds of treasures: baby bottles, pacifiers, teddy bears, bows, train tracks,
and remote control trains. What more could anyone need?

Easton: Mom, for my 5-year-old birthday I want a remote control steam engine with battery-powered water squirters on an elevated track.
Mom: Wow, Easton. You've really thought a lot about that!
Easton: Mom, when you go to the store to get my remote control steam engine, make sure it's narrow gauge or G gauge.

(later)

Easton: Mom, is my birthday tomorrow?
Mom: No, buddy. It's still 6 months away.
Easton: Oh. Is that a long time?
Mom: Yep. It's like 180 days.
Easton: Wow. That's when I'm gonna get a remote control train. When I turn five!

This multi-media train scene features rubber stamping, pencil
and paint. Easton designed the whole thing himself—a steam
engine on an elevated track with supports, driving at night.

A close up of his creative masterpiece.

Here's Easton's rendition of "California," complete with a tower.
California must be a fun word to say. Easton often says,
 "Mom, I love you all the way to Lake Michigan, and to California,
and to Heaven and back!!!" Now that's a lot of love. I'll take it.

friendships—ancient and modern

After a very intense first year of doctoral study, it feels like we're coming out of a tunnel and into the sunlight. We're ready for friendships, ready to invest in conversations, ready to show hospitality, and so glad to be out of "survival" mode. It's good timing. Eliana is in middle school, now. With Emma in 2nd grade, Easton in preschool, and me at Wheaton, we have 4 different school schedules to keep track of and lots of potential connections with other families.

In the week preceding the start of school, I was asked to read Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. The title is more intimidating than the book itself. It was surprisingly easy to read. He has two whole chapters on the nature of true friendship and the factors that must be in place in order for friendships to thrive. I found his words strikingly relevant to our context. Most of what he says about friendship is still true today.

For example, he says,

• "Perfect friendship is the friendship of men who are good, and alike in virtue" (page 196 in the edition pictured)
• "those who wish well to their friends for their sake are most truly friends" (196)
• "a wish for friendship may arise quickly, but friendship does not" (197)

Meanwhile, Eliana and I were working through another book together: The Smart Girl's Guide to Starting Middle School, a practical and helpful publication by American Girl. When we came to the chapter on friendship, I almost laughed. Their advice sounded exactly like Aristotle. Who would have thought?

Check this out:
"Another question that arises is whether friendships should or should not be broken off when the other party does not remain the same" (Aristotle, 225)

"It's pretty clear by now that you'll be be going through a lot of changes in middle school—both physical and emotional. And the same will go for your friends, too. Since friendships are often based on having the same likes and activities, you may find your relationships strengthening or souring ..." (Smart Girl's Guide, 66)

So take your pick on what to read—Aristotle or American Girl. But do yourself a favor and find a friend.

Friendships are such an important part of life. It can feel like life is too busy for friends, but a friendless life is not sustainable. And that's why I'm delighted that Eliana has had such a great time getting to know a new friend. She and her best friend Gwyn have connected with another new student. Caasi is from the Philippines, and her dad is a new PhD student at Wheaton. Since we lived in the Philippines for 2 1/2 years when Eliana was little, it's been really fun for all of us to have a new connection with a Filipino family.


"In the end, your middle school friends will likely be a blend of old and new friends" (Smart Girl's Guide, 63). So, go out and make a new friend today!

four

Yesterday was an exciting day at our house. Easton turned four! I arrived home from Notre Dame in time to celebrate with the family. Indeed, we have much to celebrate. Our baby is now dressing himself, brushing his own teeth, done with diapers, and riding without training wheels!

A few weeks ago Easton asked Dad to take the training wheels off of his bike. We were a little surprised, but he insisted, so we tried it. On his first try he kept telling Dad to let go. Within 24 hours he could start, stop, and turn, and now he's an old pro. This distinguishes him as the youngest member of our family to reach this milestone. (Danny was 10, Carmen and Eliana were 8, and Emma ... well, after seeing her brother take off on 2 wheels she decided she'd better try it, too. So Emma, at 6-1/2 has followed in her brother's tracks). That means we're a family without diapers and without training wheels.

For those of you who don't have the joy of watching Easton grow up before your very eyes (that's most of you), he is an adorable kid.  He loves to figure out how things work, and often asks for a screwdriver so he can check out the insides of his toys. We'll often find him during his "nap" time with a flashlight all taken apart. He loves to try putting it back together to see if it will still work. It usually does. When given the opportunity, he would almost rather "study" the instruction manual ("map") than play with a toy. He pours through his Thomas the Train catalog, memorizing the names of all the best trains, and carefully examines the instructions for his remote control car set, showing us which parts are missing and how everything works together. Yesterday he got real tools of his very own and two toys that needed batteries installed, including a fire truck and a train (among other things). He was such a happy kid!

Easton's Birthday Lunch at Two Toots Train Restaurant
in Glen Ellyn, Illinois, where your food is delivered to you
 on a model train. A little boy's dream come true!

Trains, tools, musical instruments, books, school, "time with Mom," helping Dad, and hanging out with his sisters are all high on his list of favorite things. And he's high on ours. What a blessing to have been entrusted with Easton! He hasn't lost his baby cheeks, in spite of his other accomplishments, so we'll keep kissing them while we can.

finding our vocation

One of Eliana's 5th grade teachers asked her what she wants to be when she grows up. She gave the same answer that I did for most of my childhood: "a missionary in South America." If she'd had more time, she would have given the longer answer: "I want to be a lawyer working with the International Justice Mission in Ecuador, helping the poor fight for land rights and providing safety and freedom for women who have been raped."

That, my friends, is a great dream for an 11-year-old to have. If she aspired to be a professional basketball player, I might be concerned, because it would be so out of the blue. But this is a dream that fits her -- with a keen ability with languages, a love for travel, and a heightened need for justice -- she's got what it takes.

A clear sense of vocation fuels daily discipline. It gets Eliana up in the mornings to do Rosetta Stone Spanish before she heads off to school. It motivates her to work hard to earn good grades, and then keep working even when no one is watching, like when school's out. Yesterday she received a Presidential Academic award bearing President Obama's signature. Today we spent our first morning of summer vacation (by request) . . . homeschooling. Eliana (11) taught Easton (3) to write lower-case letters while Emma (6) and I worked on cursive. Next came math and vocabulary. What a blessing to have such motivated children!

Teaching is a vocation that took me a while to discover. It wasn't until an education class in college that things clicked for me and I realized what I was born to do (though Mom and Dad knew it all along). Now, more than 16 years later, I'm in the thick of preparation for a teaching ministry. Being a woman in academia brings unique challenges (childcare chief among them), and so I was delighted to discover a newsletter designed with women just like me in mind. The Well, published by InterVarsity, is "a virtual gathering place for graduate and professional women to receive wisdom, care, challenge, and inspiration as they seek to follow Christ in the academic or work world." If you check out their current featured articles, you might be surprised to see that you know at least one of the contributors. I was delighted when they asked if they could publish a recent blog post.

I'm reminded of Paul's words to Timothy: "Do not neglect the spiritual gift within you, which was bestowed on you . . . Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all" (1 Tim 4:14-15). It's one thing to decide to be a lawyer, or a college professor, but quite another thing to become one. Natural talents and spiritual gifts must be nurtured and shaped by daily discipline over a long stretch of time. Nobody wakes up in the morning and finds themselves in an academic career. It's the culmination of thousands of daily choices, the fruit of discipline nurtured by mentors who are a few steps ahead of us on the journey. That's why I'm so glad to have a resource like The Well, a companion for the long pilgrimage of finding and fulfilling my vocation.

How about you? Do you have a passion buried inside you just waiting for the right season to take action? You may not be able to throw yourself into it completely at this stage of your life, but perhaps there are tiny steps that you can start taking now . . . so that when the time comes you'll be ready to roll.

on being a ripe mom . . .

The kids all climbed in bed with us this morning and watched while I opened their carefully-wrapped gifts: a butterfly pin and a tiny clay pot from Emma (age 6), a rock painted to look like a lady bug and a hand print from Easton (age 4), a picture frame for the kids' artwork from Danny, and a card full of coupons from Eliana (age 11). Eliana's coupons had me in stitches. Does she know her mom or what?

• I'll bake you brownies for your study carrel.
• You can force me to help you with your dissertation.
• I will clean up your desk (presumably after I eat the brownies).
• I'll give you a free lecture.
• You can force me to read your "thesus".
• I'll write you a commentary for free! (This, she figured, would be cheaper than buying me one.)

I'm eager to think of a way that Eliana can help with my dissertation. Perhaps helping me pack and move my books into my larger study carrel will be just the thing. I'll get an upgrade later this summer with more shelf and desk space. But meanwhile, my kids are bringing lots of joy to the journey.

Emma wrote an acrostic poem using the letters of my name in honor of Mother's Day.

Creative
Artistic
Ripe (Emma tells me this is much better than being rotten. 
         I trust she does not mean ripe as in "ripe old age" . . .)
Mousy (And this, apparently, means I slowly tell my kids what to do,
             which seems very unlikely, but it does, in fact, start with the letter "m,"
             which is the main thing.)
Encourager
Nice

Another of her "pomes" goes like this:

roses are red
vilot are blue
evreyone loves you
lu! lu! lu!

I'm such a ripe mom, in fact, that this week I took the kids on a spontaneous field trip to Blanchard Hall with Flat Stanley, who was mailed to Emma by a friend in North Carolina.  

 We ate snack together and the kids did their homework, and then we explored all the fun staircases, round rooms, and odd windows in the 140-year-old building that houses Wheaton's top administrators and is named after the school's founder.

I showed them the room where I had my proposal defense last month, and we peeked out of a round window in the main tower to get a view of the Billy Graham Center, where my classes are held. As you can see, we took lots of pictures along the way to document Flat Stanley's historic visit to Blanchard Hall. We'll send pictures back to Emma's friend, Logan.

It's great having places like this just a few steps from our front door, and having children to explore them with me! I am a happy mother indeed.

do you have highlights?

At a recent family meeting, Danny tried something new. "In a minute," he told us. "I'm going to ask each of you to share the highlight and lowlight of your week. So be thinking about what you want to share with the rest of us." (Stay tuned and I'll share mine.)

But Easton (almost 4) couldn't wait a minute. He needed to share right now. "I have a high light!" he exclaimed. We all waited to hear what he had to say. "I can reach it if I climb up on Emma's ladder, and then my room's not dark anymore!" As we all giggled he added, "I have another high light in my closet, but I can reach it if I stand on my bed."

My highlight yesterday was watching Easton check out the latest addition to our family library, the Zondervan Illustrated Bible Background Commentary on the Old Testament, edited by John Walton. A beautiful set! Even Easton thought it was cool. He pointed to every map, asking, "Is this where we live?" Then he found lots of other pictures and kept asking, "Is this from 'Prince of Egypt'?" (My answer was yes.) He did eventually go back to his Thomas the Tank Engine catalog, which is even cooler. But I was delighted to see how much he liked these commentaries!

Commercial break: Check out this fun promo video Dr. Walton sent me yesterday. If you come to ETS or SBL this November you'll be able to buy a set at 50% off (which is what I did at the regional ETS meeting last month). The set takes you through the entire Old Testament, offering insights into the cultural and historical background that can help you understand each chapter.


My highlight today was finishing the last of my 5000+ pages of required reading for the semester. Yahoo!
One more paper to write and I will officially be done with my first year of doctoral study. {brief pause to celebrate} Then I can dive into my summer projects (you guessed it ... read, read, read, and learn French, take a class at Notre Dame, read through the whole Bible, and write my first chapter).

All this reading is giving me highlights of another kind ... long gray ones. They must be a sign of my increasing wisdom (the gray matter is leaking out, right?). I can tell I'm getting smarter because every day that passes I feel like I know less than I did the day before. With every new thing I learn I realize how much more there is to know. Very. Humbling.

So how about you? Do you have any highlights?